![]() ![]() It’s really cool!Īnne: I’m dying, ffs! I can see Izzie. Richard: Anne, come and see what’s happening to the sun. Margaret Beaufort: It’s a sign! Let me explain… Lizzie: Mummy! The sun’s going away! Did you do that? Richard: Let me explain it all to you, Anne.Īnne: I don’t want to die guilty! Sir Robert, did I kill the Princes?Īnne: That’s all right then. Stanley: Dear Margaet, let me explain what’s going on. Papa? Izzie? I’ll be there soon and we can have a lovely bitch about all this over a nice cup of tea. ![]() Hell, his great grandfather hasn’t been born yet! Excuse me while I cough up blood and pray for death. Are you serious? The man who came up with that name hasn’t been born yet. Margaret Beaufort: Conspire, plot, incite, conspire.Īnne: I’m the Kingmaker’s daughter… Oh, God! Here we go again. Lizzie: Oh, Uncle Dickon is so dreamy! Dying Queen, dead son. Why, just today our blacksmith’s oldest son died and now I’m convinced he murdered your brothers! Maybe we should hold off on the curses for a while. Lizzie: Let me comfort you, Uncle Dickon.Īnne: I think I’ll take to my bed for a bit.Įlizabeth: Dear Lizzie, this is all getting so confusing, what with the firstborn son thing and the high child mortality rate in the 15th century. I was a real person, you know! And what do you think I wouldn’t have given to see my son one last time before he died? Hmmm?Īnne: Yes, sorry. I’m not some stock fairytale character for you to manipulate. Sadder. Who the hell do you think you are! My life was what it was. So, whoever it was decided they could make my life somehow better, more dramatic. And we weren’t there when he died! We didn’t even know he was ill till the news came. And, see, that’s what makes the whole thing even sadder. Type in ‘Sheriff Hutton to Nottingham’ and you’ll see we were a hundred miles apart. Now, I guess it was hard to have her there by her boys’ bedsides when they met whatever fate they met at whoever’s hands, but why me? Do you know where my son was when he died? Do you know where I was? Go to google maps. The ‘Kingmaker’ thing… But this is it! There are two mothers in this who weren’t with their sons when they died, me and Elizabeth Wydeville. My mother turned into a coldhearted bitch. No need to hurry, I’m running in slo-mo.Īnne: And I’ll get hysterical. Richard, put down that illegitimate whore and come with me. Richard: Now, take your clothes off so I can lie to you about me and Lizzie.Īnne: We must rush to our dying son’s bedside. Margaret Beaufort: I think I’ll just say whore a couple of times and storm out.Īnne: We’re cursed for accidentally killing the Princes! Barren Queen, weak son, pretty niece… You join the dots. But, what the hey! I mean, we’ve done the Witchy Wydeville thing and I’m celibate years before the fact and… Oh, God, I’ll need a week to go through the list… And that letter Buck claims to have seen, the one where Lizzie says she hopes the Queen dies quickly so she can marry Richard? And then there’s the whole no smoke/fire thing. I know there was a contemporary rumour which was publicly denied. No, bear with me, this is going to be worth it. Stanley: The King wants to bonk Princess Lizzie. ![]() Margaret Beaufort: I’ve got a table covered with fruit and no bugger to throw it at. Lizzie: Do me now! Right now! On the floor, if you like. No wonder I never get invited to parties.Īnne: Just give me a moment to be a passive-aggressive bitch to the Witch Queen’s daughters and I’ll be right with you. I mean, I’m turning into an insufferable middle class snob. Hang on, wait… My brother’s daughter? Oh, God! Really?Īnne: Best not to think about it too much. That means I’ll have to move quickly to satisfy my metaphorical sword-drawing lust while pretending to my wife that nothing’s going on. Richard: Stop fussing, woman! Henry Tudor is to marry Princess Lizzie. Stanley: I don’t think God likes you anymore. Stanley: Ever thought you might be wrong? Textiles & costumes of the late Middle Ages & early Modern timesĮlizabeth: I’ve gone home.The Nevill Guide to the Wars of the Roses.Medieval & Renaissance Material Culture.Christmas Special: Dakota FitzPercy & the Font of Fate, Part 1.Some thoughts on disappeared documents….Exemptions from the 1455 Act of Resumption.Looking at the precontract story from the correct standpoint.
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